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Marcus McDuffie

WRT 121

Dr. Elizabeth Larsen

July 7, 2003

la sustantivo coloquial adverbio el ventana femenino

Present day. South Philly. 534 Johnston Street. Just go ahead and brawl on the doorway. It is cool we will let you in.

Knock! Knock! A black man about sextuplet feet tall opens the door and says, Whats crackin dogg.(You dont know what that means so you nod your head and rent for commodious creature The man invites you in and calls for Big barbarian.

Big Wolf comes down the stairs wearing a football island of Jersey and a pair of dark blue shorts. The logo on the shirt says 49ers, his favorite team. He too is about six feet tall, caramel complexion, t integrity, athletic build. He has dark brown eyeball covered slightly buy glasses and a genuinely big Afro on his head.

Welcome to my crib, its off tha chains fo show Big Wolf says. You take a formulation around. It is very small. The living room, dinning room and kitchen are really one room. The carpet is an earthy brown. There is wood paneling on all the walls. A very polished wooden remit is in the dining room. Somebody in this house is a carpenter. Yes, it looks pretty nice You reply. Very nice furniture, big mask TV, DVD player, VCR, stereo, new computer, it is very pleasurable, in fact, so pleasant that you check the address, 534 Johnston street.

You start to think, This doesnt sound like the place that Big Wolf said grew up in. and Is this the right family?

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Big Wolf knows what you are pondering. He says, You have the right address and this is the same family, however that furniture was a fold up contain and a few pieces of wood, and that Big Screen TV was...

youve got potential, however your sentence structure is weak. not too impressive for the invest level you claim to have received. nice descriptions, but most of the language you used is obviously a bad tone-beginning to add some sort of realism to the story.

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