Part Two Chapter III

trinityGavin cooked for Kay at his house that evening, opening tins and crushing garlic with a sense of ill-usage.After a row, you had to pronounce certain things to secure a truce those were the rules, everyone knew that. Gavin had telephoned Kay from his car on the way back from Barrys burial and told her that he wished she had been there, that the whole day had been horrible and that he hoped he could see her that night. He considered these humble admissions no much(prenominal) or less than the price he had to pay for an evening of undemanding companionship.But Kay seemed to consider them more in the light of a down payment on a renegotiated contract. You missed me. You needed me when you were upset. Youre rubber we didnt go as a couple. Well, lets not dress that mistake again. There had been a certain complacency closely the way she had treated him since a briskness, a sense of renewed expectation.He was making spaghetti Bolognese this evening he had deliberately omitted to buy a pudding or to lay the t adequate in bring home the bacon he was at pains to show her that he had not made much of an effort. Kay seemed oblivious, even dictated to take this casual attitude as a compliment. She sat at his sm every(prenominal) kitchen table, burbleing to him all over the pitter- swabter of rain on the skylight, her eyes wandering over the fixtures and fittings. She had not often been here.I conceive Lisa chose this yellow, did she?She was doing it again breaking taboos, as though they had recently passed to a deeper level of intimacy. Gavin preferred not to talk about Lisa if he could avoid it surely she knew that by now? He shook oregano onto the moderate in his frying pan and say, No, this was all the previous owner. I havent got round to changing it yet.Oh, she said, sipping wine. Well, its quite nice. A bit bland.This rankled with Gavin, as, in his opinion, the interior of the Smithy was superior in every way to that of Ten hope Street. He watch ed the pasta bubbling, keeping his back to her.Guess what? she said. I met Samantha Mollison this afternoon.Gavin wheeled or so how did Kay even notice what Samantha Mollison looked like?Just outside the deli in the Square I was on my way in to get this, said Kay, clinking the wine bottle beside her with a flick of her nail. She asked me whether I was Gavins girlfriend.Kay said it archly, precisely actually she had been heartened by Samanthas choice of words, relieved to think that this was how Gavin described her to his friends.And what did you say?I said I said yes.Her expression was crestfallen. Gavin had not meant to ask the question quite so aggressively. He would have apt(p) a lot to prevent Kay and Samantha ever meeting.Anyway, Kay proceeded with a slight edge to her voice, shes asked us for dinner adjoining Friday. Week today.Oh, bloody hell, said Gavin crossly.A lot of Kays cheerfulness deserted her.Whats the problem?Nothing. Its nothing, he said, spur the bubbling spaghetti. Its just that I see enough of Miles during work hours, to be honest.It was what he had dreaded all along that she would worm her way in and they would drive about Gavin-and-Kay, with a shared social circle, so that it would become progressively more difficult to excise her from his life. How had he let this happen? Why had he allowed her to move down here? Fury at himself mutated easily into anger with her. Why couldnt she realize how little he wanted her, and take herself off without forcing him to do the dirty? He drained the spaghetti in the sink, swearing chthonian his breath as he speckled himself with boiling water.Youd better call Miles and Samantha and tell them no, then, said Kay.Her voice had nastyened. As was Gavins deeply ingrained habit, he sought to deflect an imminent conflict and hoped that the afterlife would look after itself.No, no, he said, dabbing at his wet shirt with a tea towel. Well go. Its fine. Well go.But in his undisguised lack of enthus iasm, he sought to put down a marker to which he could refer, retrospectively. You knew I didnt want to go. No, I didnt enjoy it. No, I dont want it to happen again.They ate for several minutes in silence. Gavin was afraid that there would be another row, and that Kay would force him to discuss underlying issues again. He cast around for something to say, and so started telling her about Mary Fairbrother and the life insurance company.Theyre being real bastards, he said. He was heavily insured, but their lawyers are looking for a way not to pay out. Theyre trying to make out he didnt make a full disclosure.In what way?Well, an uncle died of an aneurysm, too. Mary swears Barry told the insurance agentive role that when he signed the policy, but its nowhere in the notes. Presumably the bloke didnt realize it can be a genetic thing. I dont know that Barry did, come to Gavins voice broke. Horrified and embarrassed, he bowed his flushing typesetters case over his plate. There was a hard chunk of grief in his throat and he couldnt miscue it. Kays chair legs scraped on the floor he hoped that she was off to the bathroom, but then felt her arms around his shoulders, drawing him to her. Without thinking, he put a single arm around her, too.It was so good to be held. If only their relationship could be distilled into simple, wordless gestures of comfort. Why had humans ever learned to talk?He had dribbled snot onto the back of her top.Sorry, he said thickly, wiping it away with his napkin.He withdrew from her and blew his thread. She dragged her chair to sit beside him and put a hand on his arm. He liked her so much better when she was silent, and her face was soft and concerned, as it was now.I still cant he was a good bloke, he said. Barry. He was a good bloke.Yes, everyone says that about him, said Kay.She had never been allowed to meet this famous Barry Fairbrother, but she was intrigued by the show of emotion from Gavin, and by the someone who had caused it.Wa s he funny? she asked, because she could imagine Gavin in thrall to a comedian, to a rowdy ringleader, propping up the bar.Yeah, I spose. Well, not particularly. Normal. He liked a laugh but he was just such a such a nice bloke. He liked people, you know?She waited, but Gavin did not seem able to elucidate further on the niceness of Barry.And the kids and Mary poor Mary God, youve got no idea.Kay continued to pat his arm gently, but her sympathy had chilled a little. No idea, she thought, what it was to be alone? No idea how hard it was to be left in sole charge of a family? Where was his pity for her, Kay?They were really happy, said Gavin, in a cracked voice. Shes in pieces.Wordlessly, Kay stroked his arm, reflecting that she had never been able to afford to go to pieces.Im all right, he said, wiping his nose on his napkin and picking up his fork. By the smallest of twitches, he indicated that she should remove her hand.